So Much to Love, yet So Much Hate..........Thoughts from Jishin and others
Holocaust Memorial Day was Jan. 27 just passed, but anti-semitism has not.
February is Black History Month, a time to be aware of and honest about our history and the plight of the descendants of slavery.
February also includes President’s Day. We honor and remember George Washington, who refused to be a king but warned us to beware of threats to democracy. We also honor Abraham Lincoln, another president revered by many and reviled by many in his time, killed for his beliefs
Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love, but do we really understand what love is? Love manifests as a deep attachment to things and people.....I love my car, I love chocolate, I love my child, spouse, parent . But love is most importantly a verb......how do we act and interact with the people and events of our lives.
During March, we honor the role of women. It is Women’s History month and includes International Women’s Day. Over the last century, and into this one, women have become an essential part of shaping the destiny of our country and our world.
March also features St. Patrick’s Day, which honors people of Irish ancestry. Our culture and country today reflects the influence of many generations of people who have
immigrated to America from all parts of the world. Each wave has caused a period of disturbance and sometimes violence until the newcomers have settled and lived among us for while and integrated into the existing population of the time. In truth, all of us are immigrants.
In today’s America, we have road rage, political rage, economic rage, and just plain outrage at any number of people, things and events which are not directly related to immigration. Rather it is related to overpopulation and competition for resources and changing climate and how these factors affect all of us.
We might call our personal list of outrages as our list of beautiful monsters. And here I borrow a term from a recent article in Lion’s Roar magazine written by Tsonki Rinpoche (How to Make Friends with your Beautiful Monsters, February 2023)
This learned Buddhist monk reminds us to befriend our beautiful monsters—those people & events that you think are responsible for whatever misery you have been suffering. And beautiful monsters can also be the ways in which we have inflicted suffering on others, much to our regret. The Lions Roar article suggested some helpful practices.....welcome the feelings, shake hands with them and just be with them, drop the stories, and listen carefully. What message of good might they have for you? They are not your enemy, they are part of you. Befriend them.
So what can we do with our suffering world which at times seems overwhelming and on a disastrous course. I would like to offer this thought from Buddhist teacher Judy Lief: “Rather than making a few heroic or virtuous gestures or taking on some righteous cause, the idea is to cultivate a quality of awareness, gentleness, and benefit to others color everything you do.” From “Train Your Mind: All activities should be done with one intention” by Judy Lief.
Dogen’s fascicle in the Shobozenzo, #46 (Bodaisatta Shishōbō)
On the Four Exemplary Acts of a Bodhisattva(The four exemplary acts are also known as the four wisdoms: charity, tenderness, benevolence, and sympathy.)
1. Charity: Offering alms means not being covetous. Not being covetous means not being greedy. Not being greedy, to put it in worldly terms, includes not currying favors by groveling or flattery. If we want to bestow the Teaching of the Genuine Way, even if it were upon someone who rules over the four continents, we must do it without wanting anything in return.
2. Tenderness: Kindly speech means that when we encounter sentient beings, we first of all give rise to feelings of genuine affection for them and offer them words that express our pleasure in knowing them. To put it more broadly, we do not use language that is harsh or rude. Even in secular society there are respectful customs for asking others how they are; in Buddhism there is the Master’s phrase, “May you take good care of yourself,” and there is the disciple’s greeting, “I have been wondering how you’ve been doing.” To speak with a feeling of genuine affection for sentient beings, as if they were still new-born babes, is what kindly speech is. We should praise those who have virtue and pity those who do not.
3. Benevolence: Showing benevolence means working out skillful methods by which to benefit sentient beings, be they of high or low station. ......Some people may foolishly think that if they were to put the welfare of others first, their own benefits would be reduced. This is not so. Benevolence is all- encompassing, universally benefiting both self and others.
4. Sympathy: Manifesting sympathy means not making differences, not treating yourself as different and not treating others as different. For instance, the Tathagata was a human being just like other human beings. From His being the same as those in the human world, we know that He must have been the same as those in any other world. When we really understand what manifesting sympathy means, we will see that self and other are one and the same.
Here are three suggested activities you can consider to fold into your practice to help you with your beautiful monsters:
Handshake Practice is a way to accept strong feelings. When greeting your “Beautiful Monsters”, welcome them and shake hands. This is the path to acceptance.
Metta Practice is offering wishes for peace and good will. When dealing with difficult people, this is the path to loving-kindness and healing of relationships.
Gratitude Practice is the path to joy. When meeting each moment of your day, good or bad, find a reason to be grateful.
Metta Meditation (from Lions Roar Magazine, September 2022)
Here is a typical series of metta contemplations you can practice, reciting them three times as you change the subject of your prayer from “I” to “you” to “all.” But feel free to create your own or adapt these to resonate with your own experience.
May (I/you/all beings) be safe and protected, free from inner and outer harm.
May (I/you/all) be happy.
May (my/your/everyone’s) body support the practice of loving awareness.
May (I/you/all) be free from ill-will, affliction, and anxiety.
May (I/you/everyone) love (myself/yourself/themselves) as (I am/you are/ they are).
May (I/you/all) be happy and free from suffering.
May (I/you/all) find peace in an uncertain world.
May (I/you/all) find ease on the middle path between attachment and apathy
When you lose concentration, simply and kindly return to your phrases. Try not to judge the judgments that inevitably arise. Meet each moment with unstoppable friendliness. May you be inspired by the transformative potential of this practice.
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